[ for the SS kids. hilarious. ]
All you’ll ever need to know about the arts
Stephen Moss
History
…
English freedom was enshrined in Magna Carta in 1215; the Wars of the Roses were long and largely impenetrable; Richard III was a monster (he may be due for a spot of revisionism); Henry VIII was fat, decapitated a couple of wives but created the modern English state; civil war raged in the 1640s (actuated by religion, politics or economic change? — discuss), but this being England, everyone soon wearied of ideology and gladly embraced the sex-and-shopping era of Charles II.
The Glorious Revolution was glorious; the 18th century can be largely skipped; we won the Napoleonic wars (Scotland was on board by this point and we had become “British”); the “Great” Reform Act of 1832 gave a few more people the vote; the greater (but largely ignored) Reform Act of 1867 gave a lot more people the vote; Ireland was given home rule, except for the northern bit; the first world war was bloody and pointless; the second world war was bloody and just. Since then we’ve lost our empire, though we did win the World Cup in 1966, regained the Ashes in 2005 and like to send small detachments of troops to global troublespots….
Philosophy
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Plato, who was born in Athens in 427BC, was a pupil of Socrates. His key work is The Republic, which examines notions of justice and morality. Plato thought the ideal society was one ruled by bright, aristocratic Greeks — a bit like himself. Everyone else should be factory workers, farmers and Big Brother contestants. He was pro state education, anti the nuclear family (believing family loyalties undermined the state), and very keen on philosophers and poets. He was also fixated on shadows in caves — a metaphor for the difference between the visible and the true.
Other useful footnotes supplied by Aristotle (whom he taught), Spinoza, Hobbes, Locke, Hume, Rousseau, Mill, Marx and Nietzsche. Might also be worth mentioning Heidegger, Kant, Hegel, Adorno, Descartes, Schopenhauer, Wittgenstein and anyone mentioned in the Monty Python philosophers’ song. And, yes, they’re all men — see Social anthropology.
….
English literature
“Lo, praise of the prowess of people-kings/ Of spear-armed Danes, in days long sped,/ We have heard, and what honour the athelings won!/ Oft Scyld the Scefing from squadroned foes,/ From many a tribe, the mead-bench tore,/ Awing the earls”, etc, etc for 3,000-plus lines. English literature starts with the eighth-century poem known as Beowulf. It is not an encouraging beginning.
fun sunday afternoon reading for bugger’d SS majors wondering what, exactly, to do with a liberal arts education. just hope my parents dont see this- they might take it seriously 
